Friday, April 9, 2010
Needing a break!
I just dont understand why I have to give up things I want to do! ive got where im scared to go anywhere when my husband is home, I know i shouldnt be like that, but if somebodie calls me and he is here i dont go but im willing to go when he is at work! I know alot of people get mad when they call or ask me to go somewhere with them but i just cant help to stay here, Im scared if I leave I will come back to him drunk or have a bunch of people here! or not be here at all, it sucks having to be like this, everytime i say that I want to change it I never do, ive just been so stressed with bills and trying to find a job and everything else, I just want to scream, I guess im going to have to get out of this bc if I dont nobodie is going to want to do anything with me, SUCKS I know but i cant help it! if anybodie is out there reading this give me some advice, when i get over my allergys i will be making videos again, I hope anyway things have just been crazy! i want to make videos but just cant bring my self out of this depression stage but its got most to do with allergys they are not as bad as the other times but they are still bad, well i just think i need a break from all this and i have no way out, ive thought about going to the park but dang my allergys have got me down im just so blah that i just want to sleep, but im starting to feel a little better since ive been drinking water, ive been on the water diet for about 5 days and im liking it ive not drunk any sodas, ive been eatting the same foods but just smaller in the plate also what im going to do is start buying fruit and veggies(not in a can ) Im going to walk ive already started last weekend but i just want to make it an everyday thing, so that ive got it down ill keep my blog updated and let u know when ive started and got everything under control
Saturday, April 3, 2010
What if?
While im waiting for my peel off mask to dry I think I would write a blog, and since I have the time while my husband is watching Americans Most Wanted!
I was thinking today what if? what if I wasnt in the place im in now, what if I didnt marry my husband? what if I would have changed the road that leads me to where I am now? All these questions run through my head when im bored and just thinking, dont get me wrong I love my life even tho it might now go the way I want it to or my husband is mean that day or what ever the case may be, but the lord doesnt give us things we cant handle we can get through anything with him in our hearts,
I was on facebook the other day and a friend posted a video that got me thinking I mean REALLY thinking, it was about not telling others about the lord and how he helps u, well this boy was christan and he didnt even tell his friend about the lord, I will find the video and post a link to it so u can watch it is REALLY a video that makes u think, you know I dont go to church like i should I anit been to church in a few yrs but you know you dont have to go to church to prise the lord, but it is better so you can learn new things, I am hoping we can go in the morning but idk well I do know why im just lazy, but I know in my heart that I love the lord and I know he is there for me everyday and when I need him, all I have to do is talk to him and he will lead me through the hard times, and the worst times
so that video is what got me thinking what if? I know im in the place where I should be bc if I wasnt where I should be then I wouldnt be here, my husband is my hero he came in my life when I was going down the wrong rds and he teaches me things and he loves me even tho people tell me that he is no good, but they dont REALLY know him like I do, he is there for me when others are not, and I can say that he loves me! we are very happen, now we are no perfect and nobodie is, but I do know that we love each other,
ok brb the peel has hardened and it hard for me to move my face lol
ok back!
so thats really all I have to say! just think when u start asking your self that question, what if? just remember u are where u should be!
If anyone out there reads these then thanks so much for taking the time out of ur day to read my blog, I know it anit much but im learning, and getting this writing under control so thanks again and hope to see ur comment soon! and happy easter!
I was thinking today what if? what if I wasnt in the place im in now, what if I didnt marry my husband? what if I would have changed the road that leads me to where I am now? All these questions run through my head when im bored and just thinking, dont get me wrong I love my life even tho it might now go the way I want it to or my husband is mean that day or what ever the case may be, but the lord doesnt give us things we cant handle we can get through anything with him in our hearts,
I was on facebook the other day and a friend posted a video that got me thinking I mean REALLY thinking, it was about not telling others about the lord and how he helps u, well this boy was christan and he didnt even tell his friend about the lord, I will find the video and post a link to it so u can watch it is REALLY a video that makes u think, you know I dont go to church like i should I anit been to church in a few yrs but you know you dont have to go to church to prise the lord, but it is better so you can learn new things, I am hoping we can go in the morning but idk well I do know why im just lazy, but I know in my heart that I love the lord and I know he is there for me everyday and when I need him, all I have to do is talk to him and he will lead me through the hard times, and the worst times
so that video is what got me thinking what if? I know im in the place where I should be bc if I wasnt where I should be then I wouldnt be here, my husband is my hero he came in my life when I was going down the wrong rds and he teaches me things and he loves me even tho people tell me that he is no good, but they dont REALLY know him like I do, he is there for me when others are not, and I can say that he loves me! we are very happen, now we are no perfect and nobodie is, but I do know that we love each other,
ok brb the peel has hardened and it hard for me to move my face lol
ok back!
so thats really all I have to say! just think when u start asking your self that question, what if? just remember u are where u should be!
If anyone out there reads these then thanks so much for taking the time out of ur day to read my blog, I know it anit much but im learning, and getting this writing under control so thanks again and hope to see ur comment soon! and happy easter!
Thursday, April 1, 2010
YES im seeing some light!
Well he got the job!!! YES!!!! do you know how that makes me feel? relived to say the least!
and he started working last week, I couldnt be more happy, but you know when something good happens something bad its not far behind following,
Since he wasnt working for that period of time, the rent and most the bills slipped mostly the rent, and see here where I live if you dont pay ur rent by the 19th they are at the court on the 20th, and really these places are not all that, but its a place to live and ive got cheap rent and if it wasnt for the other things I would only be paying rent and lights, nothing else but anyway so yeah the rent got behind I mean i was paying it just a little at a time, and see I have a bad thing of not wanting to deal with people, idk what it is but I cant deal with people face to face, OK I know what it is it has to do with my self asteam but thats another blog in its self, SOOO anyway yeah they go to court on the 20th of EVERY month even if u talk to them and u are already on the list, u are there and the only way to get off is to pay, and SO it came my time to get on the list even tho i went up there and paid some on it and talked to her about it, didnt do much anyway so now I have to deal with that 2morrow and see what I have to do, idk if I have to still go or if they drop the claim since I paid ugh i cant stand this stuff, i guess we will all know 2morrow ill let u know what I have to do 2morrow
in other news I still anit found a job, UGH its really stressing me out that all my friends are finding work but me, you know I had a interview at a daycare and I didnt even get to go, that sucked but my husband cant help he has to work really if it wasnt for him then we couldnt keep things going, but I would like to work too, its really not fair that he can get up in the mornings and get ready and go out and see people and work while I have to stay here and clean and sit here looking at the 4 walls I mean I know I have TV and internet and a radio and all that but dang it gets so boring and having to deal with people coming around asking for my husband or calling, and watching all the people here leave for work, its just so annoying, ughhhh.....that I have to deal with all the drama and he gets to get be kinda care free!
No good news really only that he is working now, you know its harder for women to get jobs now unless you are in school for yrs and have ALOT and I mean ALOT of experiance so thats all I have to talk about, I will finish my other blog later and let you know whats going on with all the other things going on here...its never a dull moment let me tell you!!!
and he started working last week, I couldnt be more happy, but you know when something good happens something bad its not far behind following,
Since he wasnt working for that period of time, the rent and most the bills slipped mostly the rent, and see here where I live if you dont pay ur rent by the 19th they are at the court on the 20th, and really these places are not all that, but its a place to live and ive got cheap rent and if it wasnt for the other things I would only be paying rent and lights, nothing else but anyway so yeah the rent got behind I mean i was paying it just a little at a time, and see I have a bad thing of not wanting to deal with people, idk what it is but I cant deal with people face to face, OK I know what it is it has to do with my self asteam but thats another blog in its self, SOOO anyway yeah they go to court on the 20th of EVERY month even if u talk to them and u are already on the list, u are there and the only way to get off is to pay, and SO it came my time to get on the list even tho i went up there and paid some on it and talked to her about it, didnt do much anyway so now I have to deal with that 2morrow and see what I have to do, idk if I have to still go or if they drop the claim since I paid ugh i cant stand this stuff, i guess we will all know 2morrow ill let u know what I have to do 2morrow
in other news I still anit found a job, UGH its really stressing me out that all my friends are finding work but me, you know I had a interview at a daycare and I didnt even get to go, that sucked but my husband cant help he has to work really if it wasnt for him then we couldnt keep things going, but I would like to work too, its really not fair that he can get up in the mornings and get ready and go out and see people and work while I have to stay here and clean and sit here looking at the 4 walls I mean I know I have TV and internet and a radio and all that but dang it gets so boring and having to deal with people coming around asking for my husband or calling, and watching all the people here leave for work, its just so annoying, ughhhh.....that I have to deal with all the drama and he gets to get be kinda care free!
No good news really only that he is working now, you know its harder for women to get jobs now unless you are in school for yrs and have ALOT and I mean ALOT of experiance so thats all I have to talk about, I will finish my other blog later and let you know whats going on with all the other things going on here...its never a dull moment let me tell you!!!
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